One of the Most Important Decision in Your Estate Plan: Naming a Guardian for Your Children

If you're a parent, there's one question that keeps many of us up at night: What would happen to my children if something happened to me?

It's not a comfortable thought, but it's one of the most important reasons to create an estate plan. And the single most important decision you'll make in that plan is naming a guardian for your minor children.

If You Don't Decide, a Court Will

Here's the reality that catches many parents off guard: if you don't name a guardian for your minor children in your estate plan, a court will make that decision for you. A judge will review the situation, hear from family members, and make the best decision they can based on the information available. They'll follow the law and do their best to act in your children's best interests. But no judge knows your children the way you do. And judges almost always select family members to serve as a guardian. However, in my practice, roughly half my clients name close friends instead of family members.

You Know Your Children Better Than Anyone Else

Think about the people in your life. You know who shares your values. You know who would raise your children with love, patience, and the kind of guidance you'd want them to have. You know who has the stability, resources, and genuine desire to take on this enormous responsibility.

Maybe it's your sister who your kids already adore. Maybe it's your best friend who's been like family for years. Maybe it's your parents, or your brother, or someone else entirely. The point is, you know. And that knowledge is irreplaceable.

What to Consider When Choosing a Guardian

Naming a guardian isn't just about picking someone you trust. Here are some factors to think through:

Shared Values: Will this person raise your children with the same moral, religious, or cultural values that are important to you?

Parenting Style: Do they have a parenting approach that aligns with yours? Are they patient, nurturing, and capable of handling the emotional needs of grieving children?

Practical Considerations: Do they have the physical space, financial stability, and time to care for additional children? Would your kids need to move to a different city or state?

Willingness: This is crucial. Have you actually talked to the person you're considering? Are they willing and able to take on this responsibility? Being named as a guardian is an honor, but it's also a major commitment that deserves an honest conversation.

Age and Health: Will this person be able to care for your children through their teenage years and into young adulthood?

Have the Conversation

Once you've identified who you'd like to name as guardian, don't keep it to yourself. Sit down with them and have an open, honest conversation. Explain why you've chosen them, what it would mean, and answer any questions they might have.

This conversation accomplishes two things. First, it ensures they're actually willing to serve as guardian—you don't want any surprises. Second, it gives you an opportunity to share important information about your children's needs, routines, and what matters most to you in their upbringing.

Make It Legal

Once you've made your decision, the next step is to make it legally binding. This means properly documenting your choice in your will or trust with the help of an estate planning attorney. You should also name an alternate guardian—someone who could step in if your first choice is unable or unwilling to serve when the time comes.

Your Children Deserve Your Thoughtful Choice

Naming a guardian for your minor children might be the most loving decision you make in your estate plan. It's your way of ensuring that, even in the worst-case scenario, your children will be cared for by someone you trust, someone who will love them, and someone who will raise them in a way that honors your wishes.

At Shaila Buckley Law, we can talk through these considerations with you, and help you identify the right person to name for this critical role.